![]() "Animals" centers on a hamster whose family Rich, the "class clown" at a hoity-toity New York elementary school, has neglected to feed. Two of the best entries feature a character named Simon Rich, usually in the role of brat-villain. In "Rip," a brilliant retelling of the Rip Van Winkle fable, a 27-year-old low-life and aspiring blogger falls asleep for three years and wakes to find that his friends have become sashimi-eating yuppies. In the futuristic "Semester Abroad," a college student studying on Saturn (where the food "tastes like straight ass") obsesses about her boyfriend while an interplanetary war decimates her host society. Everything in here is Rachel.In his newest story collection, humorist and screenwriter Rich (The Last Girlfriend on Earth) uses space travel, weird science, and talking animals to knock narcissistic millennials and New York high society down to size. I welcome many new friends: Birthday card Rachel. There is strip of notebook paper There is receipt La Cucina, on which is now written, “First Date.” I am placed inside shoebox under his bed.Īt first, I am afraid, because it is dark, but as vision adjusts I see I am not alone. Suddenly, though, Jordan carries me away-to other side of room. I do not really want to move in with them, but what can I do? I figure this is “end of the line” for me. Inside are Cigarettes Gauloises and Film Forum Schedule. When I wake up next day, Jordan is dangling me over trash can. But I am quickly covered in pile of clothes. Part of me kind of wants to watch what happens next. And then, all of a sudden, the humans are laughing! And then the girl is hitting Jordan with pillow! And he is hitting her back with pillow! And they are laughing, laughing, laughing. ![]() MetroCard looks at receipt La Cucina and laughs. But two hours later they are gone, replaced by receipt La Cucina. I assume they will stay long time, like most Twenties. That Saturday, five crisp Twenties show up. I have never been more frightened in my life. On him is written, we’re getting somewhere, MetroCard says. It is about this time that I meet strip of notebook paper. He is very polite, but I get “weird vibe” from him. He says his name is Cigarettes Gauloises. It is dark, but I can see we have new neighbor. What is wrong with old image? That night, I poke my head out of wallet and look around pocket. He is just trying to “change his image.” I am confused. Jordan Hirschfeld is same guy as Jordi Hirschfeld, MetroCard explains. I miss my friends and I am lonely.Ī few days later, I meet Film Forum Membership Jordan Hirschfeld.Īt this point, I am in “panic mode.” What is “Film Forum”? Who is “Jordan Hirschfeld”? What was wrong with Velcro Batman? It had many pockets and was warm. Only survivors are MetroCard, Driver License, Student I.D., myself, and a creepy new lady named Visa. No more Scarsdale Comic Book Explosion Discount Card. No more Blockbuster Video Jordi Hirschfeld. No more GameStop PowerUp Card Jordi Hirschfeld. I meet many Ones and Fives, some Tens, a few Twenties. I am less close to them, because they are always coming and going. I meet Learner Permit Jordi Hirschfeld, Blockbuster Video Jordi Hirschfeld, Jamba Juice Value Card, GameStop PowerUp Card Jordi Hirschfeld, Business Card Albert Hirschfeld, D.D.S., Scarsdale Comic Book Explosion Discount Card. The first friend I meet in wallet is Student I.D. He goes to house, runs into bedroom, locks door. One day in store, boy human sees us on shelf.
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